Week 2 Update

Today ends my second week at Ada Developer's Academy. And I'll be honest ya'll: It was rough. I've gone at my own place for almost two years and in the span of these two weeks, I have easily spent at least 100 hours learning, studying and writing code. And the most frustrating part? Most of what I learned on my own was covered in the first week. So what does the mean for this week?

This week, I learned how to:

• Create my own classes, methods, instance variables, private methods and attr accessors
• Use Git to fork, clone, add, commit and push my files
• Utilize the terminal to access and open my files
• Use gems!
• Pair program
• Implement automated testing (???)

All this to say, I was super uncomfortable all this week. It was like clockwork. Our instructors would go over something new. They would over a practice problem. I would get hung up on a small thing, go off into a tangent and get side-tracked, then try to catch up to what was happening. The lesson would continue and I would try to keep up. By the time I start working on the follow-up assignment, I'm already lost and freaking out because I have no idea what's happening. Meanwhile, the sound of my peers typing code into their text editors only reminds me of the code I'm not writing. 

The problem with this feeling is that not only is it frustrating, but compounded by several instances of this in one day can feel crippling. I just learned a new concept. If I'm not able to implement it right away, I shouldn't be hard on myself because no one expects that of me. And everyone is struggling. There are days where I'm working on an assignment for hours and I have to force myself to stop. And although my work is no where near to where I want it to be, I did the best I could and for right now, that has to be enough.

 I am struggling because I'm learning something new and it has nothing to do with what I am capable of achieving. I'm pushing myself to learn new concepts and it can feel like I'm pushing my brain to its limits. It can make me doubt myself, but it can't take away what I have already achieved: I am here. I am learning alongside an amazing group of incredibly bright and supportive people who feel this same internal struggle. I don't have to be alone in this because I am definitely not alone. 

What to improve upon:

• Ask for help - reach out to my peers and my mentor/tutoring network more. 10 times more.
• Re-watch the recorded lectures when I'm confused 
• Stop doubting what I can do

Other thoughts:

• I'm always tired
• Coffee is my best friend
• Picking blackberries is a great way to end the day
• Sticky notes on my keyboard
• I am deliberate and afraid of nothing - Audre Lorde
• WHAT WOULD HERMIONE DO?